The Specifics Please

Today is Wednesday.  Since Saturday I have had a one-track mind set on potty training my almost 3 year old son.  Check this:  my mom lives in Florida and told me she saw an alligator.  My first thought:  alligators poop.  After reading Everyone Poops (Taro Gomi) so many times of course it was.  My other son, 14-months, is picking up a lot of new words lately, like ball and paci.  Today, he added “tinkle” because he has heard it hundreds of times in these few short days.

I based my potty training on Teri Crane’s Potty Train Your Child in Just One Day.  I would not call my son fully potty trained today, but he has not gone back into diapers, and we have had more successes than accidents.  Here’s how it went.

Our situation:  John will be 3 in one week.  We have had a children’s potty in our family room for about 2 months, and it has been used only a couple of times but discussed frequently.  For the past 2 months we have been practicing pulling down pants, taking off socks, etc; I have him come into the bathroom when I need to go, and I point out that I go frequently and always before we leave the house; for the past week we have been putting BMs from his diaper into the potty and flushing them.  In general he is willing to sit for long periods reading books or doing puzzles, though he has an energetic streak like any 2-year old.    I have another little boy who is 1 and he spent the whole day outside the house with Daddy.

Preparation:  I bought and read Crane’s book.  Based on her list of readiness questions waited about a month to get out of the NO to everything phase.  I decided on the train party theme since he is obsessed by Thomas.  I got everything I needed from Target and spent about $130, and that included a lot of ongoing use items like juice, snacks, Pull Ups, etc.  I bought one book (Everyone Poops) and got a few out of the library, along with 2 library DVDs.

Let’s get it started:  As soon as we came downstairs on potty party day I told John we were potty training his doll (Papelbon, Red Sox fans) and he was immediately into it.  We read potty training books to Papelbon and watched potty training DVDs with him.  I bought a small puzzle and “Let’s Go Fishin’” boardgame.  They were great time fillers that morning and have proven instrumental since.  The morning was mostly focused on the potty itself and the treat tray. 

John’s aunt stopped by mid-morning and played a couple of rounds of fish.  It was a big help because I needed to clean up a few things for the big potty party at our house later in the afternoon.  I also needed a break from the continuous enthusiasm, which I was really faking by around 10am.

Let’s get it finished:  John did not nap but he did spend 30 minutes resting.  When we switched the focus to him it got tough.  30 minutes after we started drinking tons of juice – we’d put a frat party to shame – he sat on the potty.  Somewhere I had read to remove the shield for boys because it could cause chaffing.  When he began to tinkle it got on the floor and he freaked out.  He tried desperately to hold it for over an hour and he was crying and very uncomfortable.  Putting the shield back on made a MAJOR difference!!!  I had to fight my instincts to keep going.  All conventional wisdom says not to force it or create a battle and I felt I was doing both.  But I praised him and encouraged him and he did it!  After he did he was so proud, and we added stickers to his chart.  The best motivation though – M&Ms. 

I am a big fan of the potty party day, but I made a few mistakes.  First, Papelbon is a stuffed doll, and his tinkle was pretend.  John went for it, but when it was his turn, he was satisfied to say “I tinkled” like we did with Papelbon, even though the pot was empty.  I wish we had set the precedent of a filled potty.  Also, our treat tray always had M&Ms in it which he consistently chose (smart boy!).  But by mid-afternoon he had not really had a meal plus did have tons of sugar.  I did not offer treats in the proper order.

After Day One:  Since Saturday it has been a learning process for both of us.  On Sunday we had another marathon potty episode, where he sat for nearly 2 hours trying to tinkle.  I pretty much decided then that we needed to wait a few weeks.  But after his nap Sunday, he went pretty quickly, and since then we have only had one long session (45 mins for his first BM).  Otherwise he has been on the potty 15 minutes or less (now I’m chuckling that I call that short).  I have also noticed in the early days that I probably smother him too much sometimes.  One of his first tinkles happened after we sat for over 30 minutes and I got up to do something and he went while I was away.  Also, he once asked me to show his brother some videos on YouTube while he was on the potty, and he pooped in the potty while we weren’t looking.

John has never asked to use the potty or answered “yes” if asked whether he needs to go.  But he has asked me to read Everyone Poops, to play Let’s Go Fishin’, and to do the bear puzzle, each of which was code for using the potty.  I missed most of those the first time.  He is also very fidgety when he has to go.  In a sense I have forced him because I keep (accidentally) asking the yes or no question and getting a NO!  But his progress has been swift, and there is never crying on the potty since Saturday.

I did alter our routine a little too to keep focused this week.  We usually go to the library, grocery, or Target in the mornings and I have skipped those activities this week so that I do not need to put Pull Ups on him.  I have closely monitored when he drinks so I can put him on the potty about 15  minutes later.  Next week I plan to get back into our routine, so we will see how all of this goes!

UPDATE DAY 7:  Wow, I’m so amazed – today is our 3rd day with ZERO accidents!   And yesterday and today he finally started to tell me that he has to go instead of me guessing.  Also, both days he said he had to poop mid-morning but did not actually go until late afternoon, so even though he said it, I did not make him wait on the potty.  Thank you Teri Crane!!!

UPDATE 5 WEEKS:  I felt compelled to write an update since in the last 5 weeks we have had probably fewer than 10 tinkle accidents.  Then, out of nowhere, 2 days ago we had 5 tinkle accidents in one day?!  Just a random setback though – we have had only one more since then.  But everyone set my expectation for those days, and reporting that our first occurred!  Also, we are not doing quite so well with poop still – about 1/2 the time we have accidents.  At our 3-year “well” check up with the pediatrician, she said not to worry about it and that it is fine for him to poop in a diaper (he would NEVER!) or Pull Up (yes, he would!).  She said it is really just an issue of time.  So we are waiting, and mostly have success when I see “that look” in his eye and can get him to the potty on time.  He will also sometimes ask, so there’s much hope!

About 2 weeks after the potty party we had a tinkle emergency at Target, and it was the first time he went in a big potty.  I was blown away!  He mostly tinkles in a big potty while standing now, but poop is strictly for the little potty.  Around the same time (2 weeks) we stopped doing M&Ms for every attempt and success, and about a week ago we stopped the sticker chart.  He just lost interest and didn’t ask anymore.